Paper Roses

Paper Roses
By: Thea S
**---**

A loud thump was heard from the back of his car. Quickly he went down and ran to see if he hit anything. And there she was… the royal princess waiting to be complimented and praised. It was the start of another grueling day as he went to his class… with the princess following him. If stalking were a lesson, the princess will surely get an A!

Sandara Park, Sandy, the royal princess was his persistent admirer. She followed him everywhere. It was irritating yes, and annoying but sometimes… he found himself liking her, especially when she follows him around.

Then one day.

“Sandara… I’m studying here… Can you move to another table..” Hero muttered.

“But I love staring at you… you know that?!” Sandy smirked.

“I need to focus… please…” Hero slammed the book and left the table.

That left Sandy stunned, tears brimming in her eyes. How could he just ignore her like that? She’s nice and pretty and lovable and every guy’s dream. She stomped her feet running towards him.

“Why are you ignoring me? I like you… I really do!” Sandy almost screamed.

Hero narrowed his eyes… grabbed her by the wrist, hurriedly pulled her to the parking lot and almost threw her against the car. She shrieked. Glued to her place, she stared into Hero’s eyes. Suddenly she felt fear. His face was moving close… closer…

She closed her eyes.

And his lips landed on hers. It was the lightest kiss; just a gentle brush of his lips against hers. It was a soothing… loving kiss. A kiss that released butterflies in her stomach and brought shivers to her spine. The sun was shining way up and she heard the birds chirping. She even thought she heard wedding bells. She was about to return the kiss but he pulled back a bit.

“I’ll pick you up after class…” He whispered in her mouth.

She could only stare at him as he walked away, leaving her clueless, thinking of what just happened between them. He kissed her, he really did! She smiled as she touched her lips, reminiscing how soft and tender his lips were.

“I love you Hero!!!! I love you!” She shouted.

**Hero’s POV**

Did I just kiss her? Damn!
Her lips were really soft, it trembled a bit but it tasted sweet.
This was not right… not right.

She annoys me so much sometimes but I find it adorable when she runs after me…
Oh Sandy.. did you put a spell on me?
Little witch…

You’re chinky eyes, make my heart skip beats every now and then…
You’re porcelain skin leave me wanting to touch it…

Argh! I can’t feel this way… I just kissed you…
It might mean….

**End of POV**

Sandy was seated in one of the benches, her hands still touching her lips.

** Sandy’s POV**

O-M-G.. waaah!
Hero just kissed me..
He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me.

He likes me. He likes me. He likes me.

** End of POV**

They now came face to face each other, no one wanted to start talking.

“Hero… Well.. I mean…” Sandy started.

“We can try and make this work…” Hero muttered holding her hands… a smile beginning on his face.

The kiss that started it all…

**---**

I’m here… He’s there… Is this the price I pay now that I am Hero Angeles’ girlfriend? I wanted to be with him most times but he asked for distance. I brought him food, but he left it in his car. We’ve been together for almost 5 months now but I felt like I was the only one exerting effort for this relationship to work.

What happened to the Hero who kissed me?

To the Hero who said, “We can try and make this work…”

If he wasn’t inside the library, he’d be with his barkada talking endlessly about basketball and cars. I was always left behind… Taking care of him, doing his notes, bringing him a towel in case he needed one, helping him whenever he needed to change shirts.

If I didn’t love him so much… I would…

“Baby… I love you…” I whispered as I lay my head on his shoulder.

He never said those words back.

All I wanted was to hear him say… Baby…

Tonight, I am waiting for him because I invited him to dinner at my house. It’s our 6th monthsary and I prepared the most romantic dinner ever. I asked him to be at my place by 7 in the evening.

8 o’clock.. 9… 10…

I woke up to a loud buzzer from the front door and looked to find that it was one in the morning the next day. I ran to the door. When I saw him leaning against the gate I wanted to run to him and hug him tight like I used to.. I was about to shout “Baby… Happy Monthsary…” when I saw a girl walk towards him and laugh with him.

Who is she?

Then I saw it. He smiled and laughed along with her, which made me envious. He never smiled and laughed with me like that. He was always silent and didn’t say much but now… seeing him with her… it was like he was the happiest man in the world.

Was he happy without me?

I tried to dispel the thoughts that crowded my mind when I saw the girl turn and look at me, she smiled and told Hero I was there already. Hero turned around, his smile fading. He stood up and dragged his feet to my front gate. I slowly walked towards him.

He held out something.

I sighed.

His Paper Roses.

I gladly took it and he bowed down and kissed the top of my head.

“Good Night.”

He whispered and left.

I saw the girl trying to hold her laughter and they drove away.

That pissed me off.

I ran back to my room, tears falling from my eyes. I slumped on the bed as I cried all through the night. When I felt like I was already drained and that I had no more tears left to cry I got the box under my bed and opened it.

I bit my lips, not wanting to cry anymore.

Inside the box were his mementos. All his paper roses. It was all kept inside this small wooden box. From our fights, to the everyday paper roses… to the get well soon and good luck paper roses… he never failed to give me one.

Yellow Paper Roses… meant I’m sorry.

Pink Paper Roses… meant Goodbye. See you tomorrow.

Red Paper Roses…meant Thank You

White Paper Roses… meant I give up.

Well, at least that was what it meant to me… I closed the box… but I can’t erase the memory of last night. Was he really the one I gave my heart to? He didn’t even give me a part of him…

I didn’t go to school the next day. He texted me that morning that he had to pick a friend up and we’ll just see each other in school. But I didn’t show up. I didn’t want to...

“Where are you Sandara?” << His first text.

I didn’t reply.

“Meet me by the car in 10 minutes.” << Second text.

Again… I didn’t reply.

I was staring at nowhere when I heard my phone ring… I let it ring and didn’t bother to answer it. After a minute of incessant ringing I turned it off and threw it on the floor because I was angry… I was frustrated. Frustrated with him, frustrated with my life!

The bed moved as my eyes flew open, I could barely open them because they were swollen, too much crying I guess. I lazily faced the person thinking it was Mel, my bestfriend who I called this morning.

“Wha… What are you doing here?” I shrieked.

“Why are you not answering my texts and my phone calls?” Hero asked me.

I lost my ability to answer and glanced at the place where I last threw my phone. It was there on the floor in bits and pieces.

I saw him pick it up and glare at me.

He went out the room, leaving me again. He’d become so cold and I couldn’t remember why ever I fell in love with him.

My yaya told me Hero was waiting outside for me by our door. I went to him, just bowing my head, refusing to look at him. I gasped when he handed me a box of the newest Nokia phone model with paper roses.

“Take it..” He muttered.

“I can’t.”

“Take it Sandara.” He put the box in both hands and walked away.

And that was it. I decided I was going to end my relationship with him.

No more lies. No more hopes.

The next day, I hid behind the biggest tree, near to where he parked his car. He was with the same girl again. Tears were falling from my eyes again, seeing how happy he was with her… but with me, he didn’t even give even the slightest smile. I held my breath as he took hold of my wooden box.

He opened it.

And stared at it for the longest time.

I saw him as he got his phone.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Where are you?”

I walked away, away from him.

“Somewhere… Look Hero.. I need to go…” I wanted to cut the call short.

“Don’t move from where you’re standing…”

And I ran… fast.. ran away from him but a strong arm caught me. And I turned around to face him. I didn’t know if he was angry because I couldn’t see clearly because my tears blurred my vision.

“I’m letting you go…” I told him in between sobs. “You don’t have to act like a boyfriend anymore…”

Silence.

“I don’t need this.” He said in a cold voice.

Then he gave me the wooden box, with new paper roses on top. I nodded and ran away.

It was the hardest semester for me. Three weeks left and I almost begged my professors to give me my final exams because I didn’t want to see him around… not just yet.

Months passed. We see each other in school but he never met my gaze. He was still with his friends and I see him with the same girl every so often. My heart sank. I wanted to move on but my heart refused to listen to my mind.

Everyday I found paper roses in my locker.. in-between the pages of my books. Plastered on our gate… even on my desk.

Paper Roses.

One Man. Hero.

I was going to class when I accidentally bumped into the same girl because she was running and giggling at the same time.

“Ow..” I yelped.

“Sorry…” The girl turned to me.

Both of us were stunned and surprised, when suddenly, Hero cannoned into her.

“You thought you could get away huh…” He said laughing.

Our eyes met after 4 months of separation and I was the one who looked away, bravely walking away from them. I was so jealous… jealous over something that I couldn’t have, jealous over something I will always just dream of for the rest of my life.

Melissa was helping me clean my room one day, when she found the wooden box underneath my bed.

“What’s this best friend?” She asked me.

“Hero’s Paper Roses.. nothing much.”

“Oh! Come with me to Tagaytay.. I’ll been throwing a pool party!” She invited me.

I agreed.

Mel kept looking at my wooden box and opened it, pulling everything out. She’s been dying to learn how to make paper roses but she was just hopeless. No… origami just wasn’t for her.

She became still and I realized she wasn’t speaking from where she sat on my bed.

“Space Cadet!” I snapped my fingers.

She was still staring blankly at the unfolded paper.

I grabbed it from her.

Tears fell from my eyes when I finally realized what the paper roses meant.

It was a chain of love letters from him. From the first day… until we broke up… He had written me letters of love… care… hate… I opened all the paper roses with Melissa helping me. It was like Hero’s diary of love.

He wrote what he did during that day and wrote the things that reminded him of me.

Aug 17, 2004

Sandy,
I went to the library to get some books and guess what! I saw the book… Confessions of a shopaholic and it reminded me of you… My shopaholic girlfriend! I’ve been dying to see you later when I drive you home.. for sure you’ll kill me if I say I stained the white shirt you gave me the other day. Don’t blame me! Blame the ink!

I love you so much Baby…Don’t Give Up on me.
Love you always always always… Baby Hero.

**
July 5, 2004

Baby,
Why are you so nosy… rummaging around my car? I forgot to clean it sorry sorry.. tonight I’ll clean it for my one and only princess. You mean so much to me. Thanks for sticking it up with me…

I love you so much Baby…Don’t Give Up on me
Love you more each day, Baby mo!

**
April 16, 2004

Baby,
I didn’t know that I already had feelings for you… If not for the day I kissed you, I finally found the girl I’ve been waiting for and wanting in my life. I didn’t know you were sweet… making 5 sandwiches for me?!

I love you so much Baby…Don’t Give Up on me.
Love you, Hero.

**
Sept. 3, 2004

Baby,
Haha! You’re hair looks funny. Who’s your hairdresser I’ll cut her hair!
But you are still cute… my cute Baby.
Thanks for the cake.. I loved it. I ate half of it last night!

I love you so much Baby…Don’t Give Up on me.
Love you forever. Hero.

**
Sept. 18, 2004

Baby,
Sorry for not going to our dinner tonight.
My cousin asked me to pick her up and my phone didn’t have battery anymore and I forgot to charge it.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you so much Baby…Don’t Give Up on me.

**
Sept. 18, 2004

Sandy,
Yesterday, I was so worried because you didn’t return my texts and my calls and now today…
Don’t do that again.

I love you so much Baby…Don’t Give Up on me., Hero.

**
Sept. 19 2004

Sandy,
I told you not to give up on me…
Why are you breaking up with me.
Please don’t leave me… Don’t leave me like this..

I love you so much Baby…Don’t Give Up on me.
Hero.
**

I cried as I read the letters…184 days… when we were together… 184 Paper Roses… 184 Love letters…

184 letters, in which he would tell me over and over…

I love you so much Baby…Don’t Give Up on me.

I cried harder as I started to read the roses after the break-up.

**
Nov. 8, 2004

Sandy,
Why did you give up on me?
I love you more than anyone in this world.
I need you more each day..

Come back to me Baby.. I love you.

Hero.

**
Nov 12, 2004

Sandy Baby,
Happy Birthday. I want to spend the day with you but I guess you haven’t realized what my paper roses mean… I hope someday you will..
I will forever be waiting.. till you’re back in my arms again.

Come back to me Baby.. Love you…Hero.

**
Dec. 25, 2004

Merry Christmas Baby…

I have one Christmas wish… and that’s to have you back.
That’s all I ask.. I hope Santa won’t fail me.
I’ll wait for you outside your house… 12 midnight.

Come back to me Baby.. I love you… Hero.

**
Dec. 25, 2004

I waited for a very long time…
And I won’t stop waiting for you…
Come back to me Baby… I love you

**
And now, I was about to read the last letter he gave me this morning… Just this morning…

February 16, 2005

Baby, you look so pretty these past few days.
Comeback to me please… please Baby…
I need you in my life.
You are the reason of everything…
I won’t stop waiting…
Come back to me Baby.. I love you.. Hero.

I needed to breathe.. I haven’t cried this hard in a long time. Hero.. you are so stupid! Argh! Paper Roses… with the idea, I laughed a bit.

All 109 letters after our break-up say one thing..

Come back to me Baby.. I love you… Hero

And that was it… 292 letters… 292 Paper Roses. In it, Hero wrote his feelings over and over… He loved me. He still loves me. How could I have been so dumb and cruel?!

Melissa left and gave me time to think. I cried… I’ve tried calling him but his phone is off. I called his house, he was out. I need to talk to him.. need to run back to his arms.

Melissa waited, as I got ready for her party.

I’ll talk to him tomorrow… I’ll be back for him.

We drove to her place. I noticed there were colorful crystals lighting the pool area. But it was empty, no people partying.

But..

There were Paper Roses, around…

On the bushes… on the footpath… Beside the pool…

I looked at Melissa.

“Party’s cancelled.” She mouthed as she went inside the house.

As my eyes went back to the pool. I saw him.

I was too stunned and surprised but I slowly walked towards him, my head bowed. When I came face to face with him. I looked up, tears falling from my eyes and he wiped it, every single one. He held out one of his Paper Roses. I quickly opened it, but found it blank.

Was he saying goodbye?

I looked up. He smiled.

“I guess you know already…” He muttered.

I hugged his waist tight feeling him, crying in his chest as he rubbed my back.

“Ssshhh… Don’t cry…”

I cried harder, hearing him call me Baby for the first time.

“Sorry… I didn’t know…” I sobbed and looked at him.

“Hear me…” He sighed deeply. “I’m sorry for not voicing out my feelings… It was my fault.. Yes. I was afraid… afraid that if I tell you how much you mean to me… And how much I need you in my life… it still would not be enough for you… You are everything that I wanted and I am not very confident that I can return your love…”

“But Hero..” I tried to stop his words but he hushed me.

“Listen first, when we broke up… my world fell apart.” Hero brushed his nose against mine as I held onto his shirt. “I love you so much…Come back to me…”

“Hero…” I cried as I pulled his shirt to seal his lips with mine.

I felt him encircle his hands on my waist as we kissed each other. My hands crawled to his shoulders as he held on to me and kissed me passionately and made me feel his love.

We swayed under the moonlight sky as he held me.. close… as he repeated over and over.

“I love you… I love you… I love you Sandy…”
And I'm hearing it... with all my heart.

**End**